It’s come to the point where I have to address the issue of the blog comments. Now, I knew I was asking for trouble when I implemented the comments, but so many people were crying defamy of character that I had to add the feature just to get them to shut up. (And yes, I am aware of the irony in letting people respond to get them to shut up, so don’t bother pointing that out.)
Now, I’m flattered that so many people are reading my blog and even feeling the need to comment. It’s true that the blog comments have led to the discovery of a fan base much larger than originally realized (as well as a disturbingly larger stalker base), so I would appreciate it if, when I ask you who you are, you tell me. Few things are simpler in life, but I guess some people just can’t follow directions. I am fairly certain these are the same people who open cartons of milk from the wrong side (and maybe that guy who put the huntseat saddle on the horse backwards). If I don’t ask you who you are, then rest assured I know who you are and I also know where you live. So don’t worry your pretty little head about that.
I’ve had to ban someone from commenting recently for not being able to follow directions. Starting now and in the future, if you find yourself banned and you’d like to be reinstated, please send me an e-mail with two essays each 100 words or less, addressing the following:
- Apologies to Jessica for being a dumbass and making me ban you from commenting.
- A concise explanation of why you think you should be reinstated and allowed to post to my blog. In this essay, remember to describe the steps you will take to not piss me off a second time.
I will consider all requests although there are no guarantees I will reinstate you, as I may determine that you are just too dumb to be wasting my valuable account space. Of course to those of you who do read my blog and don’t write asinine things, kisses, hugs, golden tickets, chocolate, and all that good stuff.
In another bout of shameless self-promotion, I’d just like to remind everyone that my FIRST HOME GAME is this Saturday, November 8th at 8 p.m. at Bethel Park BladeRunners — be there or be forever excluded from my elite social club (i.e., please show up so it looks like I have friends). Stalkers, please don’t bother coming, although you are welcome to root through the dumpster outside the rink. If you’re lucky you’ll find the tape I used on my shinguards, which you might even be able to sell to my other stalkers on eBay.
