product modeling?
First off, thank you Big Red for sending me the movie. It arrived on Friday and was totally unexpected, especially to the bomb squad I had called in to open it, who took off their helmets and gloves to hand it to me and say “It’s just a hockey movie.” I could only smile sheepishly at that, of course.
Now I just need a DVD player. Oh, and a TV set. I’ll get back to you on that one. I’ve posted a photo of myself enjoying the description on the back of the case, since I can’t seem to make the movie out no matter how hard I stare at the shiny underside of the disc.
You may also observe, by the painful way I’m Vanna White-ing the case, my amateur efforts at product modeling. Let’s face it, with these riding thighs and this farmer’s tan, I’m never going to make it as a swimsuit model, even for those cheap swimsuit catalogs with the women who all need nose jobs but opted for other types of plastic surgery instead. Not that I ever had any desire to be a swimsuit model, but I think I’d be decent at peddling the wares of the Home Shopping Network, especially if it involved hand modeling. Even my old hockey player admitted one day I had “nice nails,” which is probably not something I should tell the whole world, but most people don’t know his name anyway.
Here is my debut modeling “The Brain Eraser,” with apologies to dmk26, who shot this photo while testing out his Sekonic L-358 Flash Master, but graciously gave me all the photos on CD anyway, despite what I might do with them. The device is supposed to measure light (or so he tells me), but he can’t ever get the thing to work, so I made up a new function for it that I think is much cooler.
Say something stupid you immediately regretted? Get pulled over for speeding again? Need to pass that class? Want a second shot at that hottie who dumped you? You need the BRAIN ERASER! Guaranteed to erase mild to major recollections — you select the time span, aim, and fire. Re-present your opinion, re-plan your route, re-take your exam, re-ask them out! The future is up to you! Most people think it’s some fancy photography device. They’ll never suspect (or remember) when you use the BRAIN ERASER! Call now! 30-day money back guarantee if you use it on yourself and still remember what it’s for!
On second thought, the marketing of this product probably needs some professional help, because it’s technically a memory eraser. “Brain Eraser” causes visualizations of gray matter melting away, and it needn’t even be stated out loud that if I were ever to use this on any ex-lovers, they’d need every brain cell they could keep.
As you can see, those “waves” appear to be going straight for my head, so if anyone at work asks me on Monday why I didn’t finish my flow diagram, I will point to this picture and nod and drool. I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to use this excuse, but there is so much paperwork to get even the smallest thing done at this company that I’m sure it will be a good month before they figure out how to fire me.
