i finally found him

That’s right, I found him. I just never imagined him in tights, but hey, we met in a used bookstore in Palo Alto and I guess I just became entranced by his swarthy build and commanding gaze and really long sword. Best of all, he was a steal at $3 (plus 25 cents tax), there’s only 365 pages of him to understand and it’s all written down in black and white, I can put him on the shelf when I’m bored of him, and I can sell him back to the store if we don’t work out (probably minus 50% or so, but it’s still a great deal). He also never calls me on the phone only to not listen to me while waiting for me to shutup so that he can say he has lots of things to do, leaving me wondering why the hell he bothered calling in the first place. I’m not much of a fan of mysteries or Choose Your Own Adventure Books (“If you think he’s listening, turn to page 32, if he’s letting you run your mouth off while he sits at his laptop, turn to page 14″), so I have to say that a man between four-hundred pages of lightly used fantasy is the best option I’ve come across lately. According to the back cover (which is the only thing I’ve read so far), he’s not even her real husband, he’s just some dude who saved her from a sinking ship so she decided to take him home and parade him around town like her real husband. Sex and the respect of others without the commitment! Charmed!